A Learning Experience
by aviatrix8
Summary: Outside the healer's tent, Sain overhears an odd conversation between Serra and Priscilla. Slash, sort of.


Copyright, Aviatrix8, 2005. Fire Emblem and all related characters are property of Nintendo et al., and are used without permission. 

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Warning: Silly slashiness and horrible innuendo up ahead! You have been forewarned! 

BTW, I blame the inspiration for this story on three people. They know who they are. ;)P 

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Fire Emblem parody: 

"A Learning Experience" 

by Avi 

It was another lull in between battles for Lord Eliwood's forces... The cavalier known as Sain was currently walking across the army's latest encampment, clearly heading towards the direction of healer's tent. 

For Sain felt the onset of a most disturbing ailment... Indeed, he felt his heart palpitate at irregular intervals, at the thought of either of the army's two lovely healers! 

Granted, it was the third time this week that he had approached the healer's tent for treatment of an illness of any sort, but he knew in his heart of hearts that the mistresses of the healing profession were of a kind and sympathetic nature. 

The knight smiled beatifically at the thought of both healers... Priscilla, so sweet and dignified, and Serra, so spirited and vivacious... Surely one of them could cure the affliction that now plagued him; that of a lonesome heart! 

Sain had just arrived at the healer's tent and was about to enter, when he realized that he could overhear not one, but two female voices coming from inside the tent. 

An even wider smile spread across the cavalier's face. What luck, both healers were on duty at the moment! St. Elimine certainly favoured him this day... Now he could be attended to by both beauties, and nursed back to health by their gentle ministrations! 

The knight was just about to flip open the tent flap to enter, when he thought he overheard something odd in the conversation coming from the tent; inadvertently, he found himself leaning forward, in order to listen in better. 

"Um... Are we almost done?" asked a demure voice, which Sain recognized as belonging to the lovely Priscilla. "I'm getting a bit tired, after lying in this position so long..." 

There was an exasperated sigh, which the knight instantly associated with the charming cleric, Serra. 

"Oh, very well. We'll switch places, then." There was the sound of people shifting around the tent, and then settling down. 

"There. Are you satisfied?" 

"Yes, thank you." replied the other voice politely. "I guess it's my turn, then?" There was a pause, as if the speaker was rummaging around for something. "Okay, I'm going to start by applying this lotion..." 

There was a high-pitched yelp. "Ew! That stuff is cold! And slimy!" 

"Well, of course it is," replied the other voice patiently. "Now, just rub it in so it can penetrate more deeply..." 

At this, Sain nearly fell over, but just saved himself from doing so. Fascinated and unable to tear himself from the ongoing conversation, he found himself leaning in even further towards the tent. 

"All right, now let me tie this around your arm..." he heard the previous speaker say. 

"Ouch! Not so tight!" 

"Oh, sorry about that! It's just that the bindings aren't supposed to come loose, you know." 

"Hmph. All right then," said the other voice petulantly. "I'd just appreciate not having my circulation cut off; I'd still like to be able to move, please." 

"My sincerest apologies. Now, let me wrap this around your other arm, and then we can move on to the more... Complex techniques." 

"Well, I just hope they're worth the pain, that's all." 

Sain found himself swallowing nervously. 'Complex techniques'? He knew he shouldn't intrude, but... He just had to know what was going on in that tent! 

Not that he would barge in announced, that would be most ungentlemanly of him... But... Perhaps one peek wouldn't hurt? 

Carefully, Sain reached towards the flap of the tent, to open it just a tiny crack... Then, he slowly leaned in, to get a better view. 

He had just squinted his eyes so he could get a good look inside, when there was a sharp yell behind him. 

"Sain!" 

At the sound of his name, the knight yelped, and whirled around... He then breathed a sigh of relief, as he saw who it was. 

"Oh, it's just you Kent," he commented, with a small chuckle. The other cavalier continued to glare at him in disapproval. 

"Shame on you Sain, for spying on the healer's tent!" snapped Kent. "I would have thought that Sir Wallace had taught us better manners than that!" 

Sain had the grace to look embarrassed. "My apologies, old friend... But the conversation going on in there was so intriguing, that I just had to take a look!" 

As Kent's eyes narrowed suspiciously at those words, a different approach to handling the situation suddenly occurred to Sain... He leaned towards his friend in a conspiratorial fashion. 

"You know Kent, I do believe that there are immoral and possibly libidinous acts going on in there..." Sain placed his hand over his heart in a dramatic manner. 

"And I firmly believe it is our moral obligation... Nay, our solemn duty, to enter that tent and put an... End to whatever lewd conduct is going on in there." 

Kent raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I highly doubt that lewd acts are being performed in there," he replied, nodding at the healer's tent. "And even if there was, I don't think that it is any of our business." 

Sain looked taken aback by Kent's words. "But... what happened to your sense of moral duty?" he asked him, in a bewildered tone. 

Kent shot his friend a cold look. "If you really cared about 'moral duty', Sain, you would report the improper conduct to their lordships and allow them to mete out a suitable punishment... That is, assuming that there is anything improper going on in there, in the first place." 

At those words, the other knight sagged for a moment... Then, he brightened. 

"Well... If you really don't believe that there's anything out of the ordinary is going on in there..." began Sain, edging carefully towards the tent's entrance, "Then you wouldn't mind if I take a look inside, hmmm?" 

Kent frowned. "Sain, that is conduct unbefitting of a knight!" 

"Aw, come on, Kent!" whined Sain, as he inched one hand towards the flap of the tent. "Just one little peek?" 

The other knight shoved away his friend's hand, and then moved in front of the entrance. "I said no!" 

Still, this didn't seem to deter Sain one bit; instead, he began trying to crane his head, in order to look over Kent's shoulder. 

"I swear on my honour, just one glimpse and I'll leave them be!" pleaded Sain. He had just leaned in closer towards his fellow knight, in hopes of getting a brief peek of what was going on in the tent. "Please?" 

"Now you're just acting childish!" retorted Kent, as he continued to block his companion's attempts to look inside. 

However, due to Sain's persistence, Kent was finding it difficult to keep his friend away from the entrance... And suddenly, Kent realized that those actions was causing him to lose his balance. 

The knight took an inadvertent step back, and grabbed the flap of the tent behind him, in a vain attempt to stay upright... Meanwhile, Sain took this as an opportunity to get a better look over his companion's shoulder. 

"Stop that, you fool!" snapped Kent. "We're going to-" 

But the warning came too late. Overbalanced by the sudden shift of weight, both knights then abruptly fell straight through the flap of the tent and right inside... Thus interrupting the proceedings that were going on within. 

"...Fall," concluded Kent weakly. 

Sain shook his head, a bit dazed, and gazed up at the other two occupants of the tent, who were now looking down at both knights curiously. 

'At last!' thought Sain blearily, as he attempted to clear his head. 'I finally get to find out what forbidden antics those ravishing maidens are up to!' 

The cavalier blinked, as his vision readjusted... When the sight of both ladies finally swam into focus, he found himself staring. 

Serra was sitting upright on a nearby cot, with Priscilla sitting beside her. The scene appeared ominously normal, and Sain fought back a surge of disappointment. 

Then the knight noticed that Priscilla was holding Serra's hand, and this brought his hopes up momentarily... But as he took in some further details, he realized that there was a bandage wrapped tightly around Serra's arm, which Priscilla was in the process of tying off. As Sain looked closely, he thought he could see a similar bandage wrapped around Serra's other arm. 

Sain found himself coughing in an sheepish manner. "Um... What are you two doing?" he asked carefully. 

Serra shot him a haughty look. "We were trying to teach each other alternate healing methods!" she told him, in prim tone. 

Priscilla nodded in agreement. "Some of the Ostian methods are so much different than those we use in Etruria... And then of course, there is the training that the clerics of St. Elimine recieve." 

It was only then that Sain noticed the pack of medical supplies lying open at the foot of the cot. 

"Oh," replied the knight, in a small voice. 

"Well, that was what we were doing," continued Serra acidly. "Until you two interrupted!" She fixed him with a icy stare. 

"Us two...?" began Sain slowly. Then the cavalier realized that he was still lying atop Kent, who had the beginnings of a vein throbbing in his head... With a keen sense of self-preservation, Sain quickly rolled off the other knight, then helped the latter to his feet. 

"Er... Sorry about that, old friend!" he told Kent, in a vain attempt to placate him. The other knight merely glared.

"'Libidinous acts', eh?" remarked Kent coldly. 

Serra's eyes narrowed. "What was that?" 

Immediately, Sain stood in front of Kent, as if that would block out the words that had already been said. "Uh, nothing, nothing! Kent is just a tad woozy from his fall, that's all." 

"Really?" asked Priscilla, in a concerned tone. "Perhaps we should give him a check up, then." 

"I'm fine," said Kent curtly, and headed towards the entrance of the tent. "Come on, Sain. Leave these two be." 

However, Priscilla's words had given the other knight a brilliant idea... Sain found himself sinking to one knee, and holding out an imploring hand to both healers. 

"Fair maidens, I would be honoured if you'd allow me to play your humble patient, and practice your healing arts upon me. Surely it would be easier to use your skills on a willing volunteer, rather than on each other - Gak!" 

Sain's flowery speech was abruptly cut off, as Kent pulled him back by the collar of his armour. 

"I'm sure these ladies will do fine on their own, without your so-called help," said Kent irritably. "Come on, loverboy. I have a few choice words I want to say to you..." 

Even as Sain was physically dragged out of the tent, he made one last attempt at chivalry. "Good day, ladies," he gasped, in a strained voice. 

As soon as both knights were out of earshot, Serra heaved a great sigh. "Ah... Young love," she commented, her eyes sparkling. 

Priscilla blinked in surprise, then stared at the entrance of the tent. "What? Those two?" 

"Of course! Can't you see it?" exclaimed Serra. "Did you see the position they were in when they fell into our tent?" 

"I don't know..." remarked Priscilla, sounding doubtful. "That could've been just an accident... Besides, they were arguing quite a bit back there." 

"Lover's spat," said Serra, in a dismissive tone. "They were probably embarrassed that we caught a glimpse of their tryst." Serra sighed again. "How romantic!" 

"But... Sain seems to prefer the company of women an awful lot," said Priscilla slowly. 

"Sain is only concealing his true love for his friend by chasing other women." Serra nodded sagely. "Trust me... I'm a cleric of St. Elimine; I know these things." 

"I suppose..." replied Priscilla, not wanting to argue. 

"Now..." began Serra, suddenly all business-like. "You were going to show me the sort of herbs you use in Etruria?" 

"Oh, right!" Priscilla promptly dismissed all thoughts of Kent and Sain as a couple from her mind, and reached into her pack of medical supplies. 

"This herb is called Common Foxglove, but is also known as Digitalis," she recited, as the troubadour pulled a purple, bell-like flower from a pouch. "Although it is poisonous, in measured doses, it can be used to stimulate the heart..." 

END 

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